"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know"

I was finally able to send my letter to J today, hope that he gets it soon. Also still waiting to hear from him. It was almost better when I hadn't heard from him in some perspectives. Now I am just waiting for a phone call from him which will come who knows when if it even does or when I will get another letter back. I just miss him.

Jean said she wanted to make sure that I'm not just waiting around for him since I don't know if/when he will get out. I don't think I am thought because I'm not really doing anything different now then I was before I was "with him". It is hard to just forget about him though, he is still on my mind all the time and right now he is the one I want to be with, no one else has caught my interest.

It's been kind of hard the past few days. Ali has a bf, Jean has a guy she has been "seeing" for over a month and then this new guy who is really interested in her but I am not sure how serious she is about him with the other guy still in her mind, then Carlos has a girl from work who he is kind of interested in and then there is me who is waiting for someone to get out of jail. :(

The other night we went out and I was the only one without someone and then tonight Ali made dinner and Jean's new guy and Ali's bf were over. Not so bad until Carlos went to lay down and they were both coupled off. Then it was just Jean with K then me by myself on the same futon together. So awkward and I had to get out of there so I decided to come to my room and catch up on some TV on Hulu. *Side note: CW just played a commercial for next weeks episode of Gossip Girl during this weeks episode...

Hope to get some update from J within the next couple of days!!!!

Work and Work Out

I did get out of work early today which was awesome. I was supposed to work all day but one of the other spa coordinators didn't work her other job last night and offered to take part of my shift so I only ended up working until 3. It hadn't been a bad day so far but I was just glad to get out of there early. That also meant that I was able to get in a good work out today which I wouldn't have been able to do if I had to work until 7:30 pm.

Working early again tomorrow but I am having a free face-lift afterwards so that will be awesome. Hopefully getting in a good work out after that. I don't work until PM on Sunday so it will be nice to sleep in although I need to get in a work out before, maybe I'll go straight from the gym to work.

Peace, Love, and Face Lifts

A Reply

I wrote my letter back to J but I didn't get a chance to mail it today since I worked from 9-7:30. I hope to get it out in the mail tomorrow so that he can get it the beginning of next week, especially since I am not sure if/when he might get moved. Still waiting to hear from him although I am worried that I will miss the call since I work 9-7:30 then 9-3.

It was a long day at work and I get to do it all over again tomorrow. Went to Trivia tonight and it was ok. Kind of seemed like the odd man out and everyone else had been skiing and drinking all day which was kind of annoying. No big plans for the weekend since it isn't really my weekend. I don't have another day off until Sunday.

Peace, Love, and Pumpkin Spice Candles

A Letter

I got my letter from J today and I was so excited. He says he misses me and hopes to be back soon so he can be with him. He said when he gets back that he is going to ask me to be his girl and I think I would say yes because why not. Obviously I like him and want to be around him and not anyone else. I am going to write him back tomorrow. My goals for the day are to do that, have breakfast with Natalie, get in a good workout (after breakfast settles of course), paint my nails, and just chill. Maybe I will spend some times reading tomorrow, haven't done that in a while and should be a good day to do it.

Today

I had today off, slept in then spent the morning cleaning, doing laundry, then bought a bunch of groceries and made a good Creamy Portabella Mushroom Soup. Then we all went out for a while which was fun but of course I missed J a lot. I am really happy to have Jean and Ali's support with him, even through everything they know how much he likes me and how much I like him and how happy he makes me.

Also hoping to get a call from J in the next few days with an update...

Peace, Love, Letters

Birthdays and Missing Him

I looked so good tonight, I wish you were here to see me! We went to dinner at Cascade for Ryan's mom's birthday and we all got dressed up. Dinner was good as it always is at Cascade and the company was great then I met up with some friends afterwords and was out for a little while. Didn't really drink because 1. I didn't feel like it and 2. I wished you were out with me.

Workouts and College Basketball

I was doing so well about posting every day or at least every other day until now.

Friday night Kinetix played at The Moose, Carlos, Jean and I got a room at the Inn and some of our other friends got one too. We all hung out before the concert and then headed over there in groups. The band was great and I had a ton of fun but ended up wondering around the Village with some friends so I missed a lot of the concert (too much Whiskey) haha. The next morning and afternoon were rough to say the least but Jean and I had breakfast and lots of coffee at Nora's and things got a little better. Then off to work we went.

We were supposed to have a birthday party for our friend Paul at our place that night but after the night all of us had we decided to postpone it until tonight.

This morning Jean and I got up around 9 to head to the gym but made a pit stop along the way at Sports Authority were she bought a new snowboard and bindings and I got a few new work-out tops. After burning 700 calories (I think I've lost 8-10 pounds so far) at the gym we headed to Subway for $5 foot longs. Yum Oh and Purdue played Ohio State at home and it was such a great game. When we played OSU in Ohio they beat us by a lot and were ranked #1 and undefeated until last week when Wisconsin beat them (whom we beat on Wednesday). Well today the Boilers were on their A game, you could tell they were out for blood, and beat OSU by 13 to remain undefeated at home! I was jumping up and down and screaming, so exciting.

Hopefully we will be doing cake tonight at our house for Paul's birthday and hopefully it will still be good since I made it on Friday.


Peace, Love, and Happy Birthday Paul!


*Oh and just because I didn't write about J doesn't mean I'm not still thinking about him all the time. I figured since I don't really have any updates I would stick to what's going on in the rest of my life.

Exciting Phone Call

I talked to J today!!!!! He is still in Cheyenne in the correction center there. He will be there for a week or two until his sentencing in Colorado where he will have to deal with immigration and will probably have to pay $5,000 to stay in the US which he says is a lot of money but he really wants to be able to stay here.

It was so amazing to finally hear from him. I am happy to know where he is and that it is in the US none the less and that he is ok and safe. This morning I was in a grumpy mood: PMS, the J situation, not sleeping enough/well last night, and a few other minor things that just seemed to be stressful because of everything else that was going on. I came home after work and decided to take a nap instead of working out because I was so exhausted. About half an hour into it was when I got the call. After talking to J I was in a much better mood, decided to go do a little work out and then ended up having fun at pizza and game night with a group of friends.

He said he was going to try and call me again next week with an update and he got my PO Box number to write me a letter and asked me to write him back. I could tell he was sad, upset, worried, and frustrated. I tried my best to keep it together while I was on the phone with him and in the last few seconds I started to tear up.

The last word I heard was kisses...

Peace, Love, Patience, and Faith

Every Minute of Every Day

I seriously think of J every minute of every day! I saw one of his friends today on the mountain and he just made me think of J even more. I still have no updates on anything, as always hoping that I will soon.

Roomie Ski Day

We all had the day off so we went skiing. JH is in need of snow but it has been nice and sunny the past few days so we were looking forward to a nice day on the groomers. It didn't end up staying sunny and warm all day like we thought but it ended up still being a fun day. Afterwards we went to Cascade for wing night but I had a burger instead. Tomorrow I work AM and then it is trivia night, maybe we can defend out winning title.

*The Boilers beat the Badgers today which is awesome and leaves us still being undefeated at home!

Peace, Love, and Days Off

2 Weeks

Always on My Mind
It's been 2 weeks since I've seen J and I still think about him every day. I have told a few other people about what happened since it appears he is back in Mexico and who knows if I will ever see him again. Still hoping to hear from him soon, somehow.

Singles Awareness Day aka S.A.D.
Valentine's wasn't bad, I had to do payroll in the AM and work the desk PM. A bunch of us single friends went to dinner at Calico and it was a ton of fun. They have the best Bruchetta which we all shared along with some Calamari. I order the Trout with White Wine Sauce, Carrots, Fingerling Potatoes, and Lobster Ravioli. I think it was by far the best entree on the table. After dinner we all headed to our place for Chocolate Croissant Bread Pudding that Ali had made, so good.

Working all day but luckily I have tomorrow off, plan on just getting some errands done, working out, and chilling especially since I have to work Thursday morning.


Peace, Love, and TGIF

Back Home Again...

Angel talked to Hugo, my contact for J, today and said he is back in Mexico. I wrong him a decently long message on Facebook so hopefully I will hear from him soon. I just want to know what happened, what the future holds, and just to talk to him. It's been over a week since I've talked to him and I just can't take it anymore. It was a rough bus ride this afternoon to say the least.

Peace, Love, and Mexico

1 Week

It will be a week tonight since everything went down and almost 1.5 weeks since I have seen J. Last night on the bus ride home I got upset when I thought about Tuesday night when I dropped him off at his place which was the last time I saw him. Then later on when I was watching Jersey Shore of all things, Sammie and Ronnie had a really bad break-up fight and she decided to leave. You could tell that even though they were no longer together and that mean things were said the day before to each other that both were sad she was leaving. I really lost it then.



No new updates on where he is or what is going on. Hopefully I will hear something this weekend.

Peace, Love, and Working Out

Finally a Contact

J Update

Tuesday I got a call from a Wyoming cell number but missed it because I was at work and they didn't leave a message. Wednesday while skiing I got a call from that number again and it was Hugo, the guy J lives with. He said that J had been moved from here JH to Cheyenne. Supposedly he had taken care of everything here but then they found an old charge for selling coke and so now he is dealing with immigration for that. He is there waiting to see what happens and that he could be there 30-60 days or longer and then deported if they find more.

H said he would keep me updated once he hears from J again. J wanted him to let me know what is going on and he wants to try and get in contact with me somehow. I just really want to talk to him about everything and hopefully see him before he lives if he gets deported.

Winnings

On a happy note, I skied the past two days and won $60 at Bingo on Wednesday and then our team won trivia tonight at Cascade. We got a bunch of Fox Racing Gear and qualified to play in the championships.

Peace, Love, and Winning

Holding

So I was able to find an inmate list for the TC Jail and he is listed as in holding. Not 100% sure what that means but at least I know he is still here in the states. I was thinking of trying to visit him or at least going to the jail to try and figure out what is going on but it said those in holding are not allowed visitors. So the waiting continues, I'm just glad I at least know he is still here.

It was really good to talk to Dane about everything. Nice to get everything off my chest and talk to an outsider who doesn't judge.

Peace, Love, and Holding

Still Waiting

Nothing new to report about J. Angel was going to try and contact the people he was renting a room from to see if they knew anything but no one answered. He said he would try again today and its Latin Tuesday so hopefully someone there will have information.

I did have a dream this morning that I saw J running around Jackson (well it wasn't Jackson but somewhere else but it was one of those things where you know it's supposed to be a certain place) taking pictures and video with a hat and hoodie kind of disguising himself. I ran after him and yelled his name and when he finally turned around he made sure to stay very distant and told me he wasn't J, he had to be careful because of the police. They knew he was out but it was like he only had so much time before he had to leave the country or else. I think that was the end of my dream, I just tried to talk to him but he kept distancing himself because he just couldn't stand to see me and say goodbye... then I woke up. Hopefully I will get some kind of information about everything from Angel tonight or tomorrow.

TGIF
Today is my Friday and I am so excited, especially since I only had one day off last week. All of the roomies have the next two days off as well so we are going to ski like crazy, maybe even go to Targhee tomorrow. I work until 5, then I am going to workout with Jean, watch Purdue dominate IU at Mackie, dinner, then out to Blue Grass night at The Wort. Wednesday=Ski then Whiskey Wednesday and the dirty Virg. Thursday=Ski then trivia night at Cascade and I don't work until 2pm on Friday! It should be a good couple of days which will hopefully take my mind off of the J situation.

Peace, Love, and Workout Balls

Latin Lover

I miss him and I'm scared about what is going to happen, there is just so much I don't know! I just want to be able to talk to him, see him, and know what is going on. I may never see him again...

From the Beginning:

Late November I started hanging out at an apartment where three of my friends live after the bars close down. Carlos and Angel (two the the roommates) are Latino so needless to say a lot of other people at their place are as well. Jesus and Jonathan were two that I got to know pretty quickly. They are both so nice and friendly, always telling me how pretty I am, that they love my eyes and other flattering and semi embarrassing compliments (not used to all the attention).

I continued to hang out with Jesus and Jonathan at the boy's place and on occasion would see them out as well. After a while I kind of got the feeling that Jonathan liked me but I wasn't sure. One night at their place I was freezing and he gave me his sweatshirt to wear. A few days later I saw a group of them out at The Tavern and Jonathan and I started talking. This was the most attention he'd given me since we met (he was only talking to me and no one else) and mentioned that he and his girlfriend had just recently broken up.

Things continued as they had before and Latin Tuesday's at Cutty's started where I saw Jonathan every week. We would dance and talk and then finally a Tuesday around Christmas I decided to stay at the bar with him and not go with my friends to another one and I ended up staying with him all night. Nothing happened, we just kissed and enjoyed each others company.

Now as romantic as this may all sound, I had been warned by Angel that J was kind of bad news. Leading girls on, breaking their hearts, being a player etc. So I tried to not get too involved plus I wasn't sure exactly how I felt about him, I knew I liked him but it was all just so odd. Not that I have a problem with people of different races or interracial couples, I just never thought I would be interested in a boy from Mexico City with both ears pierced. I'd also heard rumors about him being involved with drugs. Here in Jackson weeds is pretty common but coke was a little more hard core (again just rumors that were later said to be a thing of the past).

Building a Relationship

So once again we continued to see each other out about once a week and were friendly with each other but remained just friends and continued to go our separate ways at the end of the night. About two or three weeks ago chatted on Facebook a few times about our feelings for each other. He was definitely way more into me then I was into him or at least how I thought I felt about him. Numbers were exchanged and we started texting on a regular basis starting 1/26. Although it hasn't been that long since then it feels like it has been forever.

We always calls me mi amor or bonita chica, so sweet. I always expected a text from him around 2pm everyday, before he went into work. The texting would then continue throughout the night. 1/28 I saw him at the Caddy where he works and we talked for a few minutes before he went home. The next night he stayed the night at my place. We kissed and cuddled all night long. A few days later he came over to watch a movie after work and once again stayed over. I have the next day off so we spent most of the morning just laying around.

I talked to him about how I felt and how even though we were not bf/gf (novio/novia) I hoped that he wasn't seeing other girls because I wasn't seeing anyone else. He assured me that I was the only one. I really liked him but wasn't sure where things would go and he told me he would respect my wishes to take things slow and not just see each other out.

I met up with him last Tuesday at Latin night and we danced all night. I dropped him off at home and as always a few minutes later receive a text saying how much he missed me already. At one point during this he told me he was so glad that he had met me because basically he felt out of place, being from Mexico City and all and that he didn't speak English well but he was working on it so that he could let me know how he really felt about me. Always so sweet, telling me he loved kissing me, he loved my lips and even when I would say I needed to work out and loss weight (since I joined a gym that was a big thing for me) that he said he liked me how I am.

The Turning Point

He and a friend went to Salt Lake Friday and came back on Saturday, we had plans to meet up out at The Tavern. This is where everything changed and became so unknown...

I text him that I was leaving for the Tavern and hoped to see him there soon. Bambi text me saying she had seen him downstairs at the Tavern so when I arrived I looked around for him but didn't see him. Once inside I talked to her a little bit more and took a look around but he was still no where to be found. I sent a text to him asking if he was there but no response. She then told me she had seen him talking to the police and I started to get worried. Someone else asked me if he had been arrested and I said I had no idea. Again I tried to text him and even call but no response. I went on about my night hoping to receive a text saying he had fallen asleep or went somewhere else and didn't hear his phone, at least something so that I would know he was alright.

I text Angel to see if he knew anything but at that point it was quit late and I'm sure he was already asleep. I was talking to some of my Latin friends from housekeeping at the hotel that night and two guys approached me and asked if I was Chelsea and knew Jonathan. Upon confirming that was correct, they asked to speak to me and we went to the back of the bar where it was a little more quiet. They let me know that Jonathan had lost his wallet and that he had tried to use someone elses ID to get into the bar and got arrested for that. They said they wanted to let me know and see if there was anything I could do to help. I had no idea, obviously something like this has never happened to me before. I felt so helpless and honestly even if I had money to help bail him out (which I definitely don't) I probably wouldn't have because that was just stupid.

*On a happy note his friends at the Tavern told me they were the ones he went to Salt Lake with and that he kept talking about me and saying how he wanted to get back to see me.

Yes I was upset and worried but I was also mad. Mad at him for trying that, for not telling me so that we could just do something else (yea I wanted to go out that night but mostly to see him), and even a little mad at myself for not going out earlier and intercepting him or being there when it happened so that I knew more. I told his friends that I was sorry and I didn't think that I would be of any help. I asked them to let me know when they knew more.

The next day I received a text back from Angel saying he didn't know anything and I explained what I knew to him and asked if he knew what we could do and to let me know if he heard any updates. It was then that he told me J was here illegally... I was surprised, especially since he has been here for 2 years and has a job at a local restaurant as a cook. I was disappointed at the thought that this could be true but I still cared about him, that didn't change. Then the thought came to mind that what if he gets deported and I never see him again? I can't imagine suddenly not being able to see someone ever again (I mean besides due to death) let alone someone I care about.

I have sent him texts several times even though I know he isn't getting them that I heard about what happened, I'm sorry I can't help, and to please let me know what he is out or whatever happens. As of now I still don't have any updates. I've been thinking about him a lot and it is just really hard not knowing what is going on. I hope to hear something soon. Jean is the only one of my roomies who knows that he was arrested for using a different idea but I haven't told her he is illegal. I just don't want everyone up in that business and judging everything. I still care about him even though he made some not so smart choices but who am I as an American to say much about being in another country illegally.

We are all so lucky (whether we believe it or not) to leave in a country that is as peaceful, liberal, and free as the USA. Sure we have our issue but who doesn't and honestly ours are pretty small compared to most of the world. I mean US citizen's don't normally flee the country to go live in another one illegally like other people do to live here.

Until later, I am living with a lot of questions!

Peace, Love, and J

Daily Journal

I hope to use this blog as a daily journal (or as close to daily as possible). I think it will be a good way to get out feelings and thoughts that I maybe don't feel I can or want to share any other way. Also it will be a good way to remember the good and the bad. I hope to keep up my other blog which will mostly be more about activities, events and such. More of a once a month or so as apposed to a daily entry. Get ready for a whole lot of who knows what!

Peace, Love, and Daily Beets